Is Marriage a Deteriorating Institution?

It’s estimated that more than half of all marriages today end in divorce! What happened to this institution? Has it lost it’s appeal? Are people entering into divorce predicating their relationships on the wrong values? Or, is it simply that society has become so “Me” oriented now, that people go running at the earliest difficulty and find a wealth of support from family and friends in favor of this decision?

While many marriages fail without infidelity, the most prominent reason for a failed marriage is due to a cheating spouse? It’s not surprising either. Our society is a far cry from what it was just 50 to 60 years ago and while many changes have come about that have improved both the quality of life and the availability of employment opportunity for women, it hasn’t come without it’s pitfalls. We’ve made a change from a work force that was predominantly men to a diverse work force consisting of a high percentage of women. In no way do I submit that this is a bad thing. But it is undeniable that this change has created opportunity for amorous relationships to develop in the workplace that previously didn’t exist. Where there is opportunity, ultimately there will be cases of infidelity.

Other changes in the attitudes of society have also contributed to a higher rate of infidelity among couples. There are whole industries devoted to HELPING people commit adultery without getting caught. Books have been written offering tips for covering your tracks. Services are even available that will actually falsify any documentation business people might require to help with their façade, including bogus plane tickets, event tickets, and hotel receipts all designed to giving a cheating spouse a steadfast paper trail to substantiate his/her deception.

Recently, on the Oprah Winfrey show, an expert on the subject of infidelity stated that if a spouse is intent on cheating, and does the right things to cover their tracks it’s almost impossible to prove infidelity. Fortunately however, humans are flawed. They are flawed by their own emotions and behavior and these flaws, according to the expert do produce tell-tale signs that COULD suggest infidelity. Knowing what these signs are can aid an already suspicious spouse in determining if their mate is cheating on them.

Some of these signs are:

Changes in the ways that your spouse dresses. For example, A spouse that previously dressed casually at work might suddenly begin dressing more stylish or professional.

A spouse’s attitudes towards money markedly changes.

Lies crop up about mundane things.

Your spouse gets anxious or defensive during discussions about infidelity.

A previously communicative spouse withdraws from conversations with you.

A previously non-communicative spouse suddenly becomes more attentive.

A previously helpful spouse, becomes lazy and remiss about doing chores.

Your spouse suddenly begins working longer hours or says he has to take business trips where before he/she was home on time and didn’t travel.

Your previously intimate spouse begins to withdraw from the relationship.

Your spouse exhibits signs of confusion about his/her self.

Your spouse is markedly less involved in family affairs and has a different attitude towards family gatherings and events.

Strange expenditures begin to appear on credit card statements.

Your spouse’s self esteem begins to lower. This is usually a result of feelings of guilt.

Your spouse wants to add and element of danger and excitement in his/her life.

A previously religious or spiritual spouse seems to be abandoning his/her faith.

Your spouse becomes more guarded about his/her activities and keeps secrets.

Your spouse exhibits an avoidance of you and wants to do things that don’t include you.

There is an increase in the number of arguments between you and your spouse.

Your spouse exhibits changes in the way he/she argues with you such as being more critical or less protective of your feelings.

Your spouse won’t even argue with you anymore.

These warning signs have been summarized from:

(http://marriage.about.com/cs/infidelity/a/infidelsigns.htm)

and additional resources for this article were obtained from:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html

Learn If Your Spouse Is Cheating without Guesswork